Acade(me)

The dissertation was only the beginning.

People & Places
T: Amazing Husband
ST: Three-year-old Wonder
Prof. G: Advisor I
Prof. C: Advisor II
Julie: Stylish Sister
Rob: Awesome Brother
Belle: Our Cat
Bill: Grumbling BIL
Rita: Uncomplicated SIL
SMU: Smallish Midwestern University
Doctoral University: where I got my Ph.D.
Technical
Blogwise - blog directory
Drop Me A Line
academeblog AT gmail.com
Quote of the Day
Sunday, October 15, 2006
Open Letters, All Unsent (Ver. 2.0)
Dear Julie,

I really do appreciate that you call every Tuesday morning. I enjoy hearing from you. However, is it so much to ask that you let me speak once in a while? Is it impossible for you to concentrate on anything but your own life? I have something important that I want to share with you, but I cannot because you will not let me get a word in edgewise. While hearing about the great outfit you wore Saturday night, how stupid your boyfriend is, or how dull your coworkers are is fascinating, I'm starting to feel more like a brick wall than your sister.

With much love,
Your Big Sister

*****

Dear Dad,

Please be careful what you say to T. He thinks you are God. Since your most recent telephone conversation, T has decided that we not only need to reconfigure one of our hall closets, but we need to completely tear it out. I like that you give him good advice and the confidence he needs to take on more complicated projects, but could you at least talk him into installing our new microwave or ripping out the brown tub before closet demolition begins?

Love,
Your Oldest Daughter

*****

Dear Neighbors Around the Pond,

I beg you: stop burning leaf piles on Sundays. My eyes are so puffy and watery now from the smell and my head is going to explode with a headache that's been building all day. This has happened on three consecutive Sundays. Can't you do this mid-week, when I don't have time to spend outside?

Sincerely,
Pond Neighbor With Sensitive Nose

*****

Dear T,

Yes, quite honestly you DO look very handsome and manly when you're outside using your new chainsaw or your new leaf blower. Maybe if you'd come inside at some point during the weekend I could show you just how attractive I find you lately.

Love,
Your Wife (With the Puffy and Watery Eyes)

*****

Dear Belle,

You are a cat. Cats are not supposed to like homemade Pumpkin-Ginger Bread, especially not cute little mini-loaves that are perfect for stashing in lunchboxes. Cats are also not supposed to fall asleep on the stove, leaving loads of cat fur and tiny pawprints all over the smooth cooktop. Cats are not supposed to sit at the table when we're eating dinner. You are a cat. We love you dearly but -- well, you're a cat.

Love,
Your Adopted Mom Since 1998

*****

Dear ST,

You have been quite nearly the perfect boy this week. I try to tell you this every day but in case I've missed a day: thank you.

Love you always,
Mom

P.S. Thanks, too, for the lovely hydrangea you found in the garden this afternoon. I would have missed it. And yes, I promise to "teach" you to wash dishes this week, since you're so insistent. As always, I love having your help. Hope you had fun jumping in the leaf piles this morning!

*****

Dear Student,

I appreciate you letting me know why you were absent from class. I wondered where you were. But honestly, there are some things about your life that your professors don't need to know. Which organs you are missing is one of those things.

Take (better) care of yourself,
Prof. Me
Posted with care by Prof. Me @ 10/15/2006 10:29:00 PM  
5 Words of Wisdom:
  • At 11:35 PM, Blogger Lilian said…

    These are really good letters. The one to your son is beautiful and the one to the cat and the student are so funny! The one to your dad also brought a smile to my face...

     
  • At 11:48 PM, Blogger ArticulateDad said…

    Brief, succint, funny. Thanks.

     
  • At 7:45 AM, Blogger ~profgrrrrl~ said…

    Oh, a life in letters is a fascinating thing to read.

     
  • At 10:15 PM, Blogger Aliki2006 said…

    I love the letters--really, really good! I had to laugh out loud about the one to your cat (we have a stove-lover, too) and the one to your student.

     
  • At 5:30 PM, Blogger Peri said…

    You're killing me! I think you should actually send the letter to T! :)

     
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