T: Amazing Husband ST: Three-year-old Wonder Prof. G: Advisor I Prof. C: Advisor II Julie: Stylish Sister Rob: Awesome Brother Belle: Our Cat Bill: Grumbling BIL Rita: Uncomplicated SIL SMU: Smallish Midwestern University Doctoral University: where I got my Ph.D.
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Thursday, February 23, 2006
Spinning My Wheels
I thought I was done with Chapter Four, but it keeps sucking me back in and I can't stop tinkering with it. It's a pretty dull chapter, full of statistics that are there just to prove that I am actually basing this whole dissertation thing on stuff that actually happens with some frequency, but the numbers themselves are fairly uninteresting. In attempting to spice it up, I'm driving myself crazy and ignoring the brief revisions to Chapter Three, which are pretty important and not easily accomplished. My plan is to send Chapters 1-5 to my advisors tomorrow afternoon, just so they can get a sense of how the dissertation looks as a whole instead of chapter-by-chapter, which is how they've received it to this point.
I'm having a low day overall, though, realizing just how sick to death I am of this entire project and wanting it to be finished for good. I received an email last night from a very dear overachieving-super-smart friend in his first year of assistant professordom, and he was telling me about his book prospectus. Book prospectus? I cannot even imagine writing a book, now that I'm in the death throes of dissertation writing. I barely have a long enough attention span for this dissertation, let alone a book. When I was younger (before I was married and certainly before ST) I always imagined how great it would be to write a book, to be published, to see my book on library shelves. But now? Now all I can think about is how much I dread another long-term project like this. I think motherhood, especially, has reduced the length of my attention span -- my body and mind are now trained to expect (and crave) frequent interruptions, frequent changes-of-pace, and new projects all the time. One long project that stretches for months is almost a death sentence these days.