Acade(me)

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Tuesday, January 31, 2006
Rationalization
Last week, ST and I made Monster Cookies. They have oatmeal, peanut butter, chocolate chips, peanut butter chips, and mini-M&Ms in them and they are, as one could expect with such an illustrious ingredient line-up, divine. After ST, T and I had each eaten one, T wondered aloud how many calories were in each cookie, since they're pretty big (even "monstrous"). I looked it up in my cookbook and gasped in horror.

"Umm, it says here that there are 328 calories," I said, finger on the page.

"Per cookie?" T asked in disbelief.

"Ummm, yeah. Per cookie."

"That's it," T said, "I'm not eating another one of those cookies. Ever."

I was astounded by the high calorie count, too, although with the ingredient list I suppose I shouldn't have been surprised. I'm usually fairly health-conscious -- I doubt I'll make these cookies again in the near future because they're so sinful and because we all have a serious sweet tooth in this house (or is that "sweet teeth?").

T and I left the cookies alone for about three days. ST forgot about them.

On Saturday, I caught T sneaking a Monster Cookie out of the cookie box on the counter. "What are you doing?" I asked, reminding him of the calories.

He took a bite and said, "Well, I looked at that recipe again, and I don't think there are 300 calories in your cookies."

"How do you figure?"

"Well, the recipe says that each cookie is 1/4 cup of cookie dough. These cookies aren't big enough to be 1/4 cup of dough. Right?"

It was true. I didn't use 1/4 cup of cookie dough. Maybe just a very, very heaping tablespoon (and by "tablespoon" I don't mean the wimpy measuring spoon, but rather the "big" spoon in my flatware set, which is more... well, shovel-like).

T took another bite of his cookie, an M&M popping out onto the counter. "So, I figure there are only about 200 calories per cookie."

I agreed and had a cookie. Then I didn't have one for a few days until I saw T have one yesterday after supper. "Feeling better about 200 calories?" I asked.

"I bet these aren't even 200 calories. You used reduced-fat peanut butter, right?" he asked.

I nodded. I always use reduced-fat peanut butter because I like the texture better than that of full-fat peanut butter.

"I'm thinking these cookies are more like 180 calories per cookie," T said as he polished his cookie off, sweeping a pile of crumbs into the sink.

I ate the last 328, 200 or 180 calorie cookie this morning with my hot chocolate. It's better to have no monster cookies in the house at all than to have to hear the pathetic (but hilarious) rationalization of a man with a sweet tooth.
Posted with care by Prof. Me @ 1/31/2006 10:04:00 AM  
6 Words of Wisdom:
  • At 11:28 AM, Blogger BrightStar said…

    way cute! Totally sounds like something I would tell myself.

     
  • At 11:42 AM, Blogger phd me said…

    Hee hee. I think T and I would get along: "Well, I'm eating the chips and salsa for dinner, so it's not like I'm really eating junk food."

     
  • At 11:54 AM, Blogger ArticulateDad said…

    Carrot cake. I mean, it's carrots right? Healthy right? I mean, okay, cream cheese frosting... but it's cheese, right? I mean that's healthy. And the carrots, did I mention the carrots? Oh, and raisins... I mean they've got to be healthy, right? So, come on, okay, I mean a little, eentsy, teeny weeny bit (okay it's more than that, but whatever) of sugar. How bad can that be? I mean, it just sweetens it a bit, right?

    But, I'm bad, I admit it. I seem to always need a couple pints of Ben & Jerry's or Haagen-Dazs (Dulce de leche, anyone?) in the freezer. At least I don't each them in one sitting, like I did in my 20s. At least T was eating them, that's less for you. What a sweetie he is. Be sure to thank him for saving you the calories.

     
  • At 11:59 AM, Blogger MusicalMom said…

    ROFL! I love it. Justification makes everything all better. ;)

     
  • At 12:30 PM, Blogger Dr. Mon said…

    You can make me some 380 calorie cookies anytime you like!! And Articulate Dad I am feelin you on the Dulche de leche!!

     
  • At 5:28 PM, Blogger ABDmom said…

    LOL!

    I want the recipe, BTW. :)

     
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