T: Amazing Husband ST: Three-year-old Wonder Prof. G: Advisor I Prof. C: Advisor II Julie: Stylish Sister Rob: Awesome Brother Belle: Our Cat Bill: Grumbling BIL Rita: Uncomplicated SIL SMU: Smallish Midwestern University Doctoral University: where I got my Ph.D.
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Quote of the Day
Friday, October 14, 2005
Guess who was just invited to an on-campus interview at the end of the month?
I am flabbergasted. And excited. And nervous. And sad. And feeling a little guilty.
Flabbergasted: because as much as I'd hoped this would happen, the "you're not really good enough" part of me said it never would.
Excited: because -- wow! -- what an opportunity at an amazing school with amazing resources.
Nervous: because I have to teach a class first thing when I get there, then meet everyone, then meet the Dean, and then present my research to the faculty.
Sad: because it's three more days I have to be away from ST, occurring just a week before I leave for Europe for 30 days. I've been sobbing about that all morning. But I must remember that all of these things that I'm doing are for his future. He is, quite simply, my reason for doing everything.
Guilty: because I'm leaving, abandoning my roles here at home, and shoving a lot onto T's shoulders for a long time. He's very willing and happy to do it, but it still makes me feel selfish. And I feel even more selfish when I think of the very real possibility that I will have to uproot T again.
Just as I finished typing the above entry, I heard the garage door open. T was in the neighborhood after a client meeting and stopped by the house to congratulate me. Every day I thank God for putting this man in my life. Not only is he completely supportive of my wacky future career, but he told me today that he's proud of me for managing the dissertation, job search, the house, and ST and for doing it all well. He told me that I should never feel guilty about this trip or the European trip because he will take care of things here -- this is what partnership is about, he said. He said that he's been so lucky in that, for the past five years, he's been able to concentrate on his career because he's always known that I'd take care of the other details. He's never had to juggle his schedule as I have to fit in ST or to fit in late-night library trips. "It's my turn to juggle a little," he said to me this afternoon, "and I'm excited to do it."
I love my life. It's crazy right now, but it's mine. And it's good.