The dissertation was only the beginning.

People & Places
T: Amazing Husband
ST: Three-year-old Wonder
Prof. G: Advisor I
Prof. C: Advisor II
Julie: Stylish Sister
Rob: Awesome Brother
Belle: Our Cat
Bill: Grumbling BIL
Rita: Uncomplicated SIL
SMU: Smallish Midwestern University
Doctoral University: where I got my Ph.D.
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Quote of the Day
Friday, October 14, 2005
It's Happening
Guess who was just invited to an on-campus interview at the end of the month?

I am flabbergasted. And excited. And nervous. And sad. And feeling a little guilty.

Flabbergasted: because as much as I'd hoped this would happen, the "you're not really good enough" part of me said it never would.

Excited: because -- wow! -- what an opportunity at an amazing school with amazing resources.

Nervous: because I have to teach a class first thing when I get there, then meet everyone, then meet the Dean, and then present my research to the faculty.

Sad: because it's three more days I have to be away from ST, occurring just a week before I leave for Europe for 30 days. I've been sobbing about that all morning. But I must remember that all of these things that I'm doing are for his future. He is, quite simply, my reason for doing everything.

Guilty: because I'm leaving, abandoning my roles here at home, and shoving a lot onto T's shoulders for a long time. He's very willing and happy to do it, but it still makes me feel selfish. And I feel even more selfish when I think of the very real possibility that I will have to uproot T again.


Just as I finished typing the above entry, I heard the garage door open. T was in the neighborhood after a client meeting and stopped by the house to congratulate me. Every day I thank God for putting this man in my life. Not only is he completely supportive of my wacky future career, but he told me today that he's proud of me for managing the dissertation, job search, the house, and ST and for doing it all well. He told me that I should never feel guilty about this trip or the European trip because he will take care of things here -- this is what partnership is about, he said. He said that he's been so lucky in that, for the past five years, he's been able to concentrate on his career because he's always known that I'd take care of the other details. He's never had to juggle his schedule as I have to fit in ST or to fit in late-night library trips. "It's my turn to juggle a little," he said to me this afternoon, "and I'm excited to do it."

I love my life. It's crazy right now, but it's mine. And it's good.
Posted with care by Prof. Me @ 10/14/2005 12:03:00 PM  
7 Words of Wisdom:
  • At 6:08 PM, Blogger ABDmom said…

    Congratulations on the campus visit! Wow!

    And FYI: your T sounds so much like my BH. They are cut from the same cloth. We are two fortunate women.

  • At 8:04 PM, Blogger BrightStar said…

    yay about the campus visit! Seems early... best wishes!!!

  • At 1:39 AM, Blogger Demetri said…

    That's awesome. Try to put it in perspective. It's a short time away in the greater scheme of things. I swear it is!

    That last graph of the entry. About partnership and juggling is exactly right. My wife and I talk about it a bunch. In some ways it's really cool that your kid gets to just be with his dad for a bit. From what you write about T, it sounds like it'll be really good for them both.

    If this happens to be at a small liberal arts college in my city, write me. I might be able to help. Perhaps not in any big way, but maybe a little.

  • At 2:17 PM, Blogger Prof. Me said…

    Thanks for the comments, friends!

    ABD: yes, I've often thought that BH and T are a similar breed! Amazing partners in every way.

    B*: yes, it IS very early. Applications were due Oct. 1 and they've already conducted phone interviews and scheduled campus visits. They're moving VERY quickly.

    Demetri: I did apply for a position in your neck of the woods (!), as it's my ideal location (family reasons, mostly). I applied there under some ultra-bizarre circumstances, though, so I'm not sure if anything will come of it. If anything does, I'll let you know. (The place? Probably the BEST small college in the state.)

  • At 3:10 PM, Blogger jo(e) said…

    Congratulations! This is very exciting news.

    And three days away from ST is just a tiny sliver of time in the bigger scheme of things.

  • At 5:39 PM, Blogger Prof. Me said…

    Hi, Jo(e)!

    Thanks for your comment. It's not the three days I'm worried about -- it's the 30 days!

  • At 12:01 AM, Blogger Demetri said…

    If it's the best college in the state that's in the city, well that's my alma. If it's the best college in the state that's in a small town with the blond(e) college, well. It's beautiful down there as well - though the wind does blow in the winter.

    Whatever happens, I hope you end up in a place where happiness is possible.

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