T: Amazing Husband ST: Three-year-old Wonder Prof. G: Advisor I Prof. C: Advisor II Julie: Stylish Sister Rob: Awesome Brother Belle: Our Cat Bill: Grumbling BIL Rita: Uncomplicated SIL SMU: Smallish Midwestern University Doctoral University: where I got my Ph.D.
Drop Me A Line
academeblog AT gmail.com
Quote of the Day
Tuesday, August 23, 2005
Almost a decade ago I lived in Austria for seven months, and I clearly remember the day I boarded the plane to return home. It was such a bittersweet day -- I said goodbye to the amazing family I'd lived with for over half a year, goodbye to the country I'd always loved, even in my imaginations of it. As tears of sadness streamed down my face in the plane, my heart was leaping for joy at the thought that I'd see my friends and family again in just a short while. I thought of seeing my dad standing at the gate, smelling my mom's perfume as I hugged her, driving my old car. I didn't want to leave but I couldn't wait to be home.
As the plane neared my home airport, the pilot announced that we'd not been cleared to land. We had to circle the airport for over an hour, waiting for a spot to open up on that July day. I thought I was going to go insane as we hovered around in that holding pattern -- caught in nothingness, neither here nor there.
That holding pattern, the feeling of being between two great places, is what I feel like now. On the "Here" side stand my graduate school friends and professors, our nice house, the friends ST has had all his life, T's great job he loves, and the secure feeling of being HERE. On the "There" side, many things await us: a new "real" job for me (God willing), a new job for T, new friends and opportunities for ST, a different house in a different city full of things to explore. Both Here and There are wonderful places to be. But now, I'm neither fully Here nor There: I work every day for more opportunities to get out of Here, praying that someone There wants to take me in. It's an awkward position. It's a holding pattern -- I'm just waiting for clearance to land.