The dissertation was only the beginning.

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T: Amazing Husband
ST: Three-year-old Wonder
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Prof. C: Advisor II
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Doctoral University: where I got my Ph.D.
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Quote of the Day
Tuesday, August 23, 2005
Holding Pattern
Almost a decade ago I lived in Austria for seven months, and I clearly remember the day I boarded the plane to return home. It was such a bittersweet day -- I said goodbye to the amazing family I'd lived with for over half a year, goodbye to the country I'd always loved, even in my imaginations of it. As tears of sadness streamed down my face in the plane, my heart was leaping for joy at the thought that I'd see my friends and family again in just a short while. I thought of seeing my dad standing at the gate, smelling my mom's perfume as I hugged her, driving my old car. I didn't want to leave but I couldn't wait to be home.

As the plane neared my home airport, the pilot announced that we'd not been cleared to land. We had to circle the airport for over an hour, waiting for a spot to open up on that July day. I thought I was going to go insane as we hovered around in that holding pattern -- caught in nothingness, neither here nor there.

That holding pattern, the feeling of being between two great places, is what I feel like now. On the "Here" side stand my graduate school friends and professors, our nice house, the friends ST has had all his life, T's great job he loves, and the secure feeling of being HERE. On the "There" side, many things await us: a new "real" job for me (God willing), a new job for T, new friends and opportunities for ST, a different house in a different city full of things to explore. Both Here and There are wonderful places to be. But now, I'm neither fully Here nor There: I work every day for more opportunities to get out of Here, praying that someone There wants to take me in. It's an awkward position. It's a holding pattern -- I'm just waiting for clearance to land.
Posted with care by Prof. Me @ 8/23/2005 11:49:00 AM  
1 Words of Wisdom:
  • At 7:41 PM, Blogger ABDmom said…

    I have no time to write a real comment, but I just had to say that I could have written this post. I know EXACTLY what you mean by the holding pattern. It's just how I feel, and I hate it! I love living in BSU land and look forward to whatever is in store for me, but I'm so tired of not knowing what that "whatever" is.

    OK, I guess I wrote a real commeng after all. LOL

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